A Christmas Together
by JustInunotaisho
Summary: ...and stop ringing that bell, will ya! I have a hangover, yo... Late Christmas fanfic. A hint of Cloti, Tselena. Readings and reviewings welcome.


Disclaimer: Guess. Does it sound like I own FF7?

A/N: Some of the cartoon swearwords didn't come out right. Gomen.

_It's the most wonderful tiiime…of the yeeeaaarr!_

Lowering the small ornament with a sigh, Vincent Valentine closed his eyes. _Shut up already!_ he bellowed silently.

Grumbling, the voice subsided. The gunman rubbed his temples in a supreme effort to remain sane. Or as sane as he could be with a demon in his head singing the same Christmas song over and over again. Badly.

The doorbell rang just then; its mournful tone echoed throughout the nearly empty mansion.

Grateful for the distraction, Vincent strode out of the study, down the sweeping staircase of the foyer, and to the front door. The bell rang once more impatient manner and Vincent groaned as he realized there was only one person he knew with that kind of impatience.

"Vinnie!" As he opened the door, he was engulfed in an exuberant bear hug.

"Yuffie-" he gasped, struggling to breathe.

"#, Yuffie," snorted a lanky, blond man behind her. "Get a $# room, will ya?!" He grinned at Vincent around the crumpled cigarette between his teeth. "How the ya been?"

Yuffie released him and he managed to say, "Fine…why the…visit? Something wrong?"

"Yup. Cid, if you please…"

"Yeah, yeah." The pilot chucked his cigarette into the snow and brushed past the gunman, disappearing up the stairs in the direction of Vincent's room.

"…what his doing?"

"The gang's having a Christmas reunion at Costa del Sol!" announced the ninja teenager excitedly. "And, since Barrett figured you wouldn't come willingly, we thought we'd kidnap you!"

Cid reappeared, a suitcase in hand. "Okay, Vincent? Ya gotta warn people about the crazy colors of your shorts. It's # unnerving. Let's go."

Surrendering to the inevitable, Vincent sighed and reached behind the door for a large bag of brown paper parcels. "I guess I won't be mailing these, then…"

"Ooh!" Yuffie batted her eyelashes. "Presents! Whadja get me? No, wait – lemme guess! Um, is it animal, vegetable, or mineral?"

It was going to be a long trip to the villa.

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However, even he didn't expect it to be this long. Cloud, who was up in the icicle area with Tifa, cut down a bigger tree than would fit in the villa. After everyone had their fill of verbally abusing a certain spikey-haired individual, Cid plotted a new course and the Highwind headed for the remains of Midgard and Tifa's bar.

Landing the airship near the city, Cid dismissed the crew until after New Year's with vague threats about what he'd do to any crew members who landed in jail. Then, he, Vincent, Yuffie, and Shera made their way through the bustling streets. A light snow fell; flakes glimmered in Vincent's ebony hair, eliciting frequent "kawai's" from Yuffie.

By the old theater with the neon LOVELESS sign, they saw two familiar figures – a buff, dark-skinned man arguing over a map, his opponent a reddish-orange furred dog-like creature. "Ya'll don' know what your talkin' 'bout, Red. The market's down that way." He waved a battered gun arm at one end of the street, then noticed their audience. "Hey! Ya got him to come!"

"Yup! Whatcha doin'?"

Red XIII rolled his vermillion eyes expressively. "Tifa sent us out for some groceries but Mr. I-Can't-Read-This-#-Map keeps getting us lost. We can't find Tilman's General." He lashed his tail irritably.

Giggling, Yuffie skipped over and gave him a hug. "Merry Christmas, Nanaki! I know where it is. Come on!" She sprinted off in the opposite direction Barrett had pointed, Red XIII loping alongside.

Barrett threw up his hands in exasperation. "# kid-hard to believe she's twenty. Anyway, see ya." He ran after them, swearing under his breath.

With a smirk, Cid draped an arm around Shera's shoulders.

"Cid…"

The pilot looked down at her. "Yeah?"

"Mistletoe."

He transferred his gaze overhead. Across the gap between two buildings, a girder lay, tossed there by METEOR. Someone used it to their advantage and had draped garlands of evergreen and holly and, yes, mistletoe over it.

_Eugh…whoever thought up that tradition must have been high on something. _Vincent banged himself in the head. "Shut up, Chaos," he muttered, turning away from their ensuing snog. He began to walk again, regretting the hasty hit to the head for the zillionth time. All it accomplished was a headache and Chaos's taunts at his attempts to shut him up.

Just then, he caught sight of something that made even him grin. On a street corner, decked out in a faded Santa suit and hat and ringing a small bell, stood the normally rigid and stern-looking Rude. Beside him stood a small kettle into which one could insert gil. Evidently, the Turk had not found it necessary to shed his sunglasses or customary frown.

Vincent walked over and stood next to him. For a moment, neither said anything. Then, the gunman broke the silence. "…stake-out?"

"…no. I'm merely helping out Reeve."

"Ah."

"Now, ain't that sweet, Elena?" came a voice behind them. "From the way they both start their sentences with three periods, you can totally tell they're long lost brothers, yo."

Gritting his teeth, Rude didn't turn around. "Get lost, Reno."

"I can't. If I do, I suffer from complete boredom and from seeing-you-in-a-hilarious-suit depression. By the way, stop ringing the # bell, will ya? I have a hangover, yo…"

One end of Rude's mouth quirked slightly upwards and he rang his bell a bit louder. "I keep telling you that Christmas isn't till tomorrow and to hold off getting drunk until then."

"Well, you know these holidays – always so rushed. If we all got a jump start on things-"

"We'd all end up red-haired, hyperactive morons, like some unmentionable person we all know," snapped a female voice.

Rude and Vincent finally turned to regard two other Turks dressed in customary black suits despite the weather. Reno rolled his eyes, his scarlet mane of hair ruffling in the breeze, and ignored his blond partner. "Yo, Vincent. 'Sup?" he greeted, slouching against the brick wall of the alley.

"Are you here for the Reunion?" asked Elena, brushing her hair out of her eyes.

"Geeze, Elena, you almost sounded like Hojo, yo."

"Reno, for the last time-"

"Miss Lockheart did invite us to the party tonight," interrupted Rude, cutting her off.

"Turks go to parties as guests rather than security?" wondered Cid, his snog session over.

"Yeah, but to keep up the image, we refer to it as crashing."

"Then you can at least come over early and help out." Rude slung the kettle over his shoulder and grabbed Reno by the collar. "Come on."

"What?!" protested Reno, feebly struggling. "That goes against my freeloader genes, yo! Besides, I'm only half done with my Christmas drink- er, shopping! Besides, what about your bell ringing?!"

"Tifa asked me to come over early for lap-sitting for the orphans."

"You? Lap-sitting?" The young Turk's expression grew positively evil. "You know, I think I _will_ enjoy this…"

"Ho, ho, ho," growled Rude.

Vincent sighed, wondering why he didn't just sleep in his coffin from December 1st to January 2nd. Chaos began to sing again. _Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock…_

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"…do you have enough firewood?"

Tifa nodded, a slight grin on her face. "Yes, thanks to Cloud getting frustrated and pulling an Omnislash up near the lodge." She strung another piece of popcorn on the line.

Seventh Heaven was crowded with the usual patrons having celebrational drinks and holiday outings. Through the crowd ran the orphans Tifa and Cloud had been taking care of the last four years. About ten kids ran, played, decorated, ate cookies, and generally added to the uproar. In the thick of it, Rude in his Santa outfit ruled from a barstool, asking the usual "have you been good? What do you want for Christmas?" spiel. Much to everyone's surprise and Reno's hilarity, he seemed to be enjoying himself.

Finishing the chain and handing it to an eager Denzel to put up, Tifa stood and brushed herself off. "Come on and help us decorate the tree, Vincent." She led him towards the taproom past Reno and Elen who were tending bar and arguing over the proper ingredients to a Cosmo Canyon Candle Snuffer.

In the back, barrels and crates full of bottles lined the walls, shoved aside to make room for a few cots and a large Christmas tree, undecorated with presents around the bottom.

A bearded man in a gray three piece stood near the tree, arguing with a small robotic cat in a cape. "Look, every tree needs an angel at the top, so why don't you be it?"

"What?!" squeaked Cait Sith, crossing his arms as he tail lashed to and fro. "Wake up, Ventriloquist Moron! I'm a robotic _cat_! Not a bloody cherub with wings, dinnae ye ken!"

"Ah. Well, yes, about that-"

"Ohhhh, no. Ye're nae going tae catch me in some fancy little faerie wings or stupid twinkly halo!"

Stifling a smile, Tifa entered the conversation. "Oh, come on, Cait Sith. Be a good sport…"

With grumblings and mumblings, Cait Sith hopped off the cot and clambered up the tree to the top. He spread out on a branch, crossed his arms, and glowered down at them all. Reeve turned to Vincent and Tifa and muttered, "Giving him that AI chip for Christmas was the dumbest thing I ever did."

"Don't let it bug you, Reeve. His crush on me is actually kind of cute," Tifa whispered back.

Wandering over to the tree, Vincent felt a branch. It was stiff. There also lingered a certain fragrance in the air, like- "Hairspray?"

Both Tifa and Reeve laughed. "When we brought it in, the sudden heat caused the branches to droop, so we 'borrowed' some hairspray from Cloud's private stash."

"We're baaack!" singsonged Yuffie, prancing into the room followed by a disgruntled, and overloaded, Red XIII. "And we brought foood!"

Relieving the near-collapsing animal from his many bags, Vincent peered into a few. "…sausages…Pocky…pop tarts…ramen…turkey…" he exchanged incredulous glances with Reeve. "…um, Yuffie? Normally one would expect more traditional things around Christmas time."

She turned a blank expression upon him, then her face fell. "You're right. I forgot pizza."

"Don't worry, you two." Tifa laughed at their expressions and hefted a few bags. "I usually have the stuffing and pies homemade. They taste better."

"As long as it's not her mashed potatoes," put in Marlene as she came in with Denzel and attempted to put one of the popcorn strings on the tree. Vincent set down his bags and hoisted her up on his shoulders. "Thanks, Vincent!" She finished and the gunman set her down again. "Oh, yeah. Uncle Reno needs more scotch out at the bar."

The other four's jaws dropped. "Uncle…_Reno_?!"

Reno leaned in. "Someone call my name?" He glared as they burst out laughing. "What?!"

"That apron you're wearing just doesn't suit you."

True the pink and white apparel with large pockets and HOME SWEET HOME clashed tremendously with his hair. "Despite your incessant mockery, I'll give you some advice: never bet Elena she can't mix an Icicle Whirlwind. Hey, kid," he turned to Marlene who rummaged among the crates. "What about that scotch?"

In answer, she held up a bottle. "A re you going to show me how to make a SHINRA President Moth-" His hand clapped over her mouth.

"Uh, yeah. Come on."

"Reno…" Tifa's voice grew deceptively sugary with undertones of "Nitroglycerin meets Blender." "Would you care to tell me the rest of that drink's name?"

You could have herded and sheared the expression on the Turk's face. Fortunately, Elena's voice yelled for Reno to hurry up with the scotch, and he and Marlene and Denzel exited.

"I think I'll check on our temporary bartenders…" With a swish of her leather skirt, Tifa strode toward the bar, fingering the Premium Heart fighting gloves.

Meanwhile, Yuffie sidled up to the bemused Vincent. "Hey, Vinnie, I have some decorations to put on the tree but I need some help putting them up…" she waggled her eyebrows in a suggestive way.

Out of the corner of his eye, the gunman spotted something. He allowed a smirk to spread across his face and bent down until his nose touched hers. Her heart raced as he purred seductively. "Why, yes. I believe I can accommodate you…"

With a sudden motion, he reached out and pulled a stepladder from a pile of junk. Unfolding it, Vincent set it near the tree and strolled out of the taproom, whistling.

Red XIII and Reeve struggled to conceal their laughter at the ninja's sputters. She scowled at them, then whipped some shurriken from her belt, hurling them with deceptive ease onto the tree, each ringing a branch.

"Yuffie! The # you doin'?! You're s'posed to wait til I get the & lights on!" Barrett bellowed. At first glance, one could hardly tell it was he who stood in the doorway, masses of Christmas lights in his arms. He brushed past them and started stringing them, the tangles and outbursts of profanity frequent and simultaneous.

All the commotion caused Tifa to poke her head in. Assessing the situation at a glance, she jerked her head to the other three. As Barrett continued to string and swear, the bartender ushered them out. "It's best not to disturb him right now."

"Doesn't he want help?" wondered Reeve.

"No, he likes to do it himself."

"Sounds like he's going to use a fire materia pretty soon."

"I used to think so, too, and one year, I did the lights," explained Tifa. "He sulked for _weeks_," she looked over at Vincent. "Did you bring any ornaments?"

"…no. My departure was rather hurried."

"Dang. We were going to have everybody decorate the tree with some of their own ornaments. Yuffie and Reeve and I did ours, Barrett's doing the lights, and Cloud already made his contribution with the hairspray."

"You called?" All of them turned to see the short swordsman come tramping in, his cheeks flushed with the cold and snowflakes dusting his heavily gelled hair.

"Oh, hi, Cloud!" greeted Tifa brightly. "Like a drink?"

"Sure, but first, what's this I hear about hairspray?"

"…I think I'll go bring in some firewood." Vincent took his leave before things got complicated. He bumped into Barrett as the bigger man exited the taproom, bandaging one of his fingers.

"You seen Yuffie?" he demanded. "One of her & pointy things and I got into an argument."

The gunman shrugged. He caught a glance of the tree. Despite Barrett's struggles, it looked rather nice, each shurriken gleaming different colors. Cait Sith looked less than happy, stuck atop a tree bristling with sharp objects.

A sudden idea struck Vincent as he continued to stare at the decorations.

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"No."

"Why not?!"

"It'd look & stupid, that's why not."

"Any more than it does not with a mechanical cat, ninja stars, and…what are those, Vincent?"

"…bullets."

Red XIII looked closer at the cylindrical bits of metal hanging from various branches. They were indeed bullets with wire glued to them so they'd hang. "Like I was saying," he continued, glaring over at Barrett. "I want some of my own decorations up there."

"If you're goin' to put up edible junk on the tree, why not use candy canes?"

"I don't like candy canes."

"Fine. Please your & self…" Barrett lounged on one of the cots, beer in hand and scowl on brow as Red XIII brought out dog biscuits with ribbon loops and began to hang them on the tree.

Most of the group sat in the taproom, drinks in their hands. Out in the bar, the patrons had gone home and the Turks were watching over the kids, though Tifa told Reno in graphic detail what would happen if he taught Marlene how to mix any more cocktails.

"Y'know, that tree still needs something," muttered Cid, taking a gulp of his beer.

Shera stood up and brought out a bag. Taking out several small glass candleholders, she began to hang them on the tree, then lit each one with a cigarette lighter. Tifa flicked off the lights and everyone gazed at the softly glowing tree. An odor, both pungent and sweet, filled the air.

"Mmm…" Cid pulled Shera closer, resting his chin on her shoulder. "Smells just like my favorite cigarettes."

"They are your favorite cigarettes."

A chorus of chuckles met the pilot's expression.

"What's the joke?" Reno and Elena entered. Both accepted glasses of eggnog from Tifa.

"We were discussing tree ornaments. Where's Rude?"

"Telling the munchkins a bedtime story." The crimson-haired Turk shook his head slowly. "I never expected him to be a kid kind of guy."

"I never expected him to let Denzel wear his sunglasses," piped up Elena.

"Probably a prereq for Turk applications." Yuffie grinned. "Steal a Turk's sunglasses and win a free scholarship."

"In that case, Reno must have had to work extremely hard." Pulling off his Santa hat, Rude entered. "Every time he tries to steal mine, he gets his $# kicked."

"Ha, ha, ha." Reno chucked a badly wrapped package at his partner. "Merry Christmas to you, too."

Cracking a smile, Rude sat down and pretended to examine the present carefully. "Aha. An oblong package, wrapped in plain brown paper obviously during a windstorm by a caffeinated hummingbird."

"Shu'up and open the & thing."

Rude complied and whistled at the contents. "Titanium-coated sunglasses. Now I won't have to worry about clumsy people stepping on them…"

"You're welcome," replied his partner grumpily. "While we're at it…" he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small envelope, which he gave to Elena. "This is from me and Rude."

Opening it cautiously, the blond-haired Turk took out a small folded piece of paper. "What is this?" As she opened it, she shot a suspicious glance at Reno. "'The week of June 4th, Costa del Sol.'" She read.

Reno and I talked to Rufus and managed to get you that week off," explained Rude. "Thanks to Cloud, you can use his villa."

Sighing, the woman's shoulders slumped. "I appreciate the thought, you two-"

"We knew there'd be a 'but,' yo. That's why we looked up Tseng's vacation days and scheduled yours at the same time…"

"Ah. Well, in that case, thanks." A faint grin appeared on Elena's face. "You two are a pair of conniving donkeys, aren't you?"

"We aim to please. Well…" Rude pretended to look thoughtful. "_I_ aim to please. Reno aims to drink."

"Ha, ha."

"Hey, I'm not complaining, especially since it makes it so much easier to shop for you," The bald Turk proved his point by handing him a bottle of 12-year old Scotch, replete in a ribbon around the neck.

"Thanks."

Gulping down the rest of his drink, Cloud stood up. "Tifa, need help hanging the stockings?"

She nodded and pulled the long, bulging socks out from beneath her cot. Together, they exited the taproom. Yuffie began to rise. "Do you need help? I've got a stealth materia in case the kids wake up-"

"Leave 'em alone, kid."

"Huh?"

Barrett tossed her a crumpled bit of paper. Unfolding it, the shinobi read it and met his twinkling eyes over the top of his mug. "A receipt for-?"

"Yeah. A ring from Tillain's of Kelm. Found it in his motorcycle pouch."

"Whoa," Elena muttered to Shera. "They got some _really_ nice jewelry there."

The scientist's shy smile contained a hint of smugness. "I know." The tree light gleamed off the diamond on her own finger. "Were do you think Cloud got the idea?"

Cid was listening and grinned. "'Course, I had to beat him upside the head a few times while subtly hinting."

A slight yelp sounded from the bar, followed by a soft shushing noise. Everyone in the taproom changed knowing glances and clinked their glasses together. Everyone except-

"Yuffie!"

The young shinobi jumped guiltily, moving away from the Christmas tree and her poking of the presents. Barrett glared at her. "Wait 'til tomorrow!  
"But Barreeeett…" Lower lip sticking out, Yuffie turned pleading bambi eyes upon him.

"Geeze, you're as bad as Marlene. Fine. Open one."

"Yay!" Yuffie began rummaging around again. "Vinnie, where's mine from you?"

"…I haven't put them under there, yet." The gunman brought out his bag and began setting the parcels under the tree, handing two to her.

"You got me two?!"

"…one's from Chaos."

"Thank you, Kay-Kay!"

_Kay-Kay?_ murmured the demon. _She called me Kay-Kay?_

_Oh, no. Please-_

Before Vincent could react, Chaos took over, his wings unfurling and turning the gunman's skin blue and scaly. "Kay-Kay?" Chaos rumbled, his red eyes meeting Yuffie's startled brown ones.

"Uh…yeah…"

Without warning, Chaos gave her a tremendous bear hug. "That's sooo kawaaaiii!" Unable to do anything to prevent it, the part of his mind that was Vincent sighed and put his head in his hands. After the shinobi opened Chaos's present and exclaimed over the master ice material inside, the demon sat next to her and discovered the joys of whiskey-sours.

Cloud and Tifa came in, holding hands. The swordsman appeared particularly goofy, lipstick marks here and there on his face. As they sat down, he shared a fraternal look with Cid and Barrett. "You know something?" he blurted out. "I feel like singing."

"Nope, nope, nope. You have to tell us when the wedding is, yo."

"June and you're all invited."

"Even me?"

Unfazed by the appearance of a blue demon sitting next to Yuffie with a drink in his hand, Tifa laughed. "It's up to Vincent."

"And if he doesn't let you, there's always the bachelor's party," reminded Cid, leering. "So what shall we sing?"

"I have always been fond of 'Winter Wonderland." Chaos was cut off by Vincent's abrupt change back, a look of incredible revulsion on his face. "All right, that's going too far. Not that song or _any_ of the like. It's bad enough when he sings them in my head."

"How about something older and slower, then?" Cloud pulled Tifa close and began singing "God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen."

As the others began to join in, there came a hesitant knock on the back door. Elena got up and answered it. A long haired man in a black suit stood there, brushing snow off his shoulders.

"Tse-Tseng?" she gasped.

The Turk smiled, brandishing a bouquet of flowers. "Merry Christmas, Elena. May I come in?"

Shocked, she could but nod.

"Ooh, look who's here!" Reno raised his glass in welcome as Tseng bowed to them all and sat next to Elena.

"…are those flowers? For Elena?" Rude raised an eyebrow, while his partner wolf-whistled.

"Actually, no. I found them on the doorstep. No card, just nine flowers. However," the boss Turk brought out another bouquet. "_These_ are for Elena."

"Nine flowers." With trembling hand, Tifa traced a yellow petal. "The same kind as in the church…"

"Seems like two more people wanted to say 'Merry Christmas' as well," murmured Vincent, voicing all their thoughts.

The rest of the night was spent in comfortable companionship until the tree surrendered to the inevitable and exploded from the volatile combination of lit cigarettes, extra-strength highly-flammable hairspray, and live ammunition.

Fin.

A/N: So, I know this is late but I just had to get it out.

Yuffie: But what about the presents?! I wanted to see what Vincent gave me!

Inu no Taisho: …You saved them with your new ice materia, remember?

Yuffie: I did? Oh, yay! So what'd he get me?

Inu no Taisho: …Anti-seasickness pills


End file.
